What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
