Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
