Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
