I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
