no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You pole danced in your parka.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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