champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
