don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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