i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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