So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
