my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
