Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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