Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
