Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
