Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
