Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
