So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
