Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
