so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
