If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
