i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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