new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
