I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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