I think I died a long time ago.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
