You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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