I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I want is dick and wine.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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