I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
