we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
