Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
