We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
