just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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