Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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