I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
