is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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