Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is the high leading the old right now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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