two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
