She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
ok first of all what the fuck
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
