We're facebook friends in real life
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
