you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
there is glitter all over my balls
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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