What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
you never un-have a 4some
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
