I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize