Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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