just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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