Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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