No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
