That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
