mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Duck Duck Cougar?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
