At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Vodka?
Forever.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
