Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
