i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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