I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize