She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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