Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
