i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i will never coherently bang her
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
