just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
