Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
