some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
