im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
