How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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