If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I could fuck to npr.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
